Sloth defies science

Sloths rule!
This article from Seed Magazine, about Mats the sloth, is truly great:

Scientists are patient people. They will wait months or even years for experimental results. But researchers at Jena University in Germany have finally snapped and fired the most uncooperative research-subject-cum-enemy-of-science they have ever known: Mats the sloth. Scientists have spent three years trying, in vain, to coax Mats up and down a pole so they could study his locomotion. (In a method of travel unknown to the rest of the animal kingdom, sloths hang from a branch by their claws and move down headfirst.) The researchers hoped to see Mats in action, and they tried to tempt him down the pole with pasta and boiled eggs—treats fit for a sloth king—but Mats literally would not pull his weight in the experiment. "He wasn't remotely interested in furthering science," said university spokesman Axel Burchardt. Since Mats is apparently unfit for the glorious life of an intellectual, he has been excommunicated to a zoo in Duisburg, where he will be expected to father little sloths. Hopefully the lady sloths at the zoo aren't looking for an exhilarating thrill-ride.

Mats reportedly plans on suing the researchers for his unlawful employment termination; he claims that he was being a sloth because... ahem... that was his job!

He plans on filing suit after a nice long mating session with a few females, followed by a nice, long nap.