Airport Security and How to Make the Holidays Less Lonely

There has been a huge outcry recently over the new security measures being implemented on American airports. Thanks to douchebags like the guy who tried to conceal a bomb in his underwear, it may now become standard procedure for a TSA agent to cop a feel whenever you want to fly... for national security purposes, of course.

Now, before we start ranting about the obvious violation of privacy these security measure represent, let's remember, as Saturday Night Live does, that by banning such measures, we may be discriminating against a significant (and perhaps lonely) segment of the population...

And if you can't afford to fly, or wouldn't mind taking care of business yourself, you might as well get in shape in the comfort of your own home :)

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