Concerned Parents Demand Removal of Arsenic from Periodic Table of Elements

I don't know if you've noticed, but when previously lucid and perfectly respectable and reasonable people become parents, the brain systems responsible for rational thought seem to be taken over by a sense of protection bordering on paranoia and lunacy, as The Onion reports in this hilarious piece:

I wonder if these parents would be as excited as I was to find out about the latest chemical element recently discovered: cheesium :)
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