Chuck Norris hearts Mike Huckabee :)

Ok, so they're both evolution denying idiots, and they wouldn't mind overturning Thomas Jefferson's wall of separation of church and state to impose their religious beliefs on the rest of us, much as they might deny that, but at least they have a sense of humor.

And here is a list of some of my favorite Chuck Norris facts:

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space, you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Chuck Norris doesn't use condoms. There is no protection against Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Chuck Norris says it's beef, then it's fucking beef.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Chuck Norris says.
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